Tuesday, October 21, 2008

On The Lighter Side

From the archives of The Crittenden Press come many interesting and unusual stories. Here are two amusing little articles that will surly bring a smile to those who read them. They probably couldn't be used in our paper today, but they bring us a glimpse of our past and the humor that the Press reporter could see in otherwise troubled circumstances.

The Crittenden Press, Sept. 25, 1913 - Kissed and Made Up Differences. But the county couple kept the community well stirred up while the trouble lasted.

A most exciting series of events springing from domestic troubles of Tom Myers and wife, of this county, was brought to a close here when Myers was fined $30 in the County Court for wife beating.

On last Tuesday Myers and his wife had some difficulty during the progress of which he bestowed sundry blows, slaps and bruises upon her and so terrified her that she fled their home and sought refuge in Fredonia, which is near their home.

Noticing her absence for the next several days the neighbors concluded that the woman had been killed, and so they dragged creeks, ponds and cisterns near Myers premises in an endeavor to locate the body.

Naturally they failed to find her and when they next heard from her she was in Marion , where she swore out a warrant, charging her husband with wife beating and in addition asked that he be put under a bond to keep the peace.

Saturday night the sheriff started out to find Myers and arrest him that he night be placed on trial. He failed in his search and later developments show that while he was making his midnight ride to protect the women, who was apparently in terror of her husband, she and her erring spouse resided peacefully in Fredonia. Monday morning both Myers and his wife appeared, and at her request he was allowed to plead guilty to accept a fine of thirty dollars whereupon they departed in apparent peace and harmony with every assurance that they would "live happily ever after."

Feb. 19, 1926 - A Different Return Of A Marriage License

Recently County Clerk D. A. Lowry issued a marriage license upon request of the hopeful groom. The usual procedure is for the happy couple to quickly go find a minister before whom they promise to take each other for better or worse and the officiating minister then properly fills out the blank lines that the event has taken place according to law and returns it to the clerk so that he may complete his records.

In this specific case, however, something seems to have gone awry. After several days of watchful waiting for the return of the license Clerk Lowry was rewarded by having it come back with the blank spaces still in the same condition as when they originally left his office - but a note came with it signed by the original applicant stating that the papers were being return for cancellation because no property was found.

Clerk Lowry is still wondering.

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